Hate is a strong word. Its a word that slips easily from the tongue on a myriad of subjects. It can be applied forcefully and popularly to many things; the ignorant actions of a maniacal religious fundamentalist and terrorist, the despotic and arrogant foreign policy of industrial nations at times. It can be used in a more personal and specific vehemence, reactionary to a set of circumstances, aimed at a personal and immediate target of contempt; such as getting up in the morning or the discovery of a rainy day. But it can also be applied more blithely and at times more aggressively at figures that have dared raise their heads above the parapets of creative output and deemed themselves worthy of outputting material on the popular stage. One such man to have created such contempt is Jeph Loeb.
A marmite figure in the starry fermament of the comic book industry sky, Loeb has been the subject of just such a vehement and outspoken attack by me, in the middle of Forbidden Planet. Shamefully, as I make my way, hopefully into the industry I always hoped to work in I am guilty of declaring my ‘hate’ towards a figure I’ve never met. I have existed in a state of contempt of Jeph Loeb for many years now.
There are numerous reasons for this; He dips. Dancing around between industries (Television and Comic book primarily) he never remains on anything for very long. He enjoys a symbiotic relationship with comic books and appears and reappears occassionally from time to time as he feels like it. And they just keep letting him in. As a freelancer, desperate to enter the industry myself it is perhaps galling to see someone allowed to choose when he feels like working. In particular when everything I’ve read of his is hackneyed bollocks. I’d like to point out I haven’t read everything he’s written – or even much but never the less the majority of it is commercially minded, heartless pap with almost no reverence to what’s gone before (pretty much just channelling my rage about Ultimates 3 there). This is jealousy. The most arrogant and divisive motivation to hate. Effectively I’m saying – I could do that, get out of my way – you’re not even doing that good a job – why do you get to be in that position and I don’t?
Next is the most recent actual comics output. Red Hulk: Hulk but angrier. That’s right. Angry Hulk, the angriest of the angry characters in the Marvel Universe. Capable of splitting the crust of the planet with his anger in fact while green is now red. And he’s angrier. This off the back of the exceptional Planet Hulk. A moment in which The Hulk had found pathos and scope and strength in character almost unseen since he was handled by the almighty Peter David (with deft subtlety and aplomb), Marvel choose to hand it to Loeb. This would be fine except that Loeb is now reknowned for taking existing characters at their most beloved and popular and shitting on them from a great height seemingly because everyone knows the smell of shit. It’s popular and well known and people do talk about it Loeb, no doubt. But nobody actually likes the smell of shit.
Then, there’s Ultimates 3. Ultimates but more Baywatch! People like Baywatch. No, they don’t Loeb. They like tits. Baywatch had tits in it. So did Ultimates 3 thanks to the yank up the ranks of Valkyrie; an admittedly nubile and stunningly beautiful warrior maiden, ‘mysteriously’ imbued with powers that levelled her up to Avenger status. Happily. Off the back of Mark Millar’s gloriously dystopian military- industrial complex super human thriller that reinvented central characters and made them as recognisably flawed as the best literary characters, Loeb was handed free reign of the book. Saved effectively by Joe Maduriera’s stunning artwork, Loeb presented us with a morally bankrupt set of misanthropes seemingly happy to watch each other having sex on a wide screen (and that was the opening page) and never really leaving the house. Plodding, self absorbed, hackneyed and laboured Ultimates 3 was a commercial success. I own it, I like reading it. But I like watching Mega shark vs Giant Octopus so don’t pay any attention to me.
I also hate Heroes. Effectively taking 30 years of X-Men continuity and development and repackaging as an ‘original’ show on ABC. Enjoyed by millions and considered ‘original’ by those who never picked up an X-Book, this one just plain makes me angry. Loeb was writer and co-producer, following a run on Lost and receives my rage through this by association.
But who is he? This hate figure I’m so determined to despise? Check in here on Thursday to find out as I actually take a crack at uncovering who Loeb is to the comic industry and whether he has, does or should have the credentials to be considered a Practitioner….