Moon: An introduction

Have you ever looked up into the night sky and wondered what the Moon does when he’s not up there? You haven’t? Well this may well answer all the questions you never asked.

What if I was to tell you that the Moon has dropped out of the sky early hours of every morning for the last 2000 years and most recently puts on a suit, takes out a gun and fights ridiculous crime? Ever since a botched, drunken Celtic ceremony in 12ad, the Moon has been doomed to plummet out of the sky, hit the ground, brush himself off and fight the forces of the ridiculous on behalf of the British government. He was supposed to be a beautiful, blue Moon goddess who could sweep entire armies into the ocean but they messed it up and we ended up with a skinny guy with a Moon for a head.

He has worked his way up through 2000 years of British history. He has no face with which to emote, no mouth with which to speak. If you put a coke float in front of him he will drink it but no one is entirely sure how. He’s a surprisingly good shot and he’s teamed up with a homicidal traffic warden who pretends he’s from Chicago when secretly we suspect he’s from Sheffield.

Plus, he’s slightly inadequate – which we think makes him the quintessential British superhero.  On top of which we figured out the other day he’s most likely the world’s most famous superhero because if you think about it there are people in China who have never heard of Superman but you know they know what the Moon is.