Dark Side

Darth Vader in Love

Darth Vader you fool! Anakin Skywalker hasn’t had the poontang for some time it would appear. Peter Serafinowicz has given us some insight into the life of Darth Vader, clearly torn between the fact that he is finally feeling human thoughts and the fact that he has a johnson like a screwdriver.

WHAT?!

Lost Jedi Sketch 4: Rial Shif

Rial Shif is an agent of the Jedi. You could walk around the Jedi Temple in Coruscant and ask everyone if they’ve ever heard the name Rial Shif. The answer from almost all of those present would be no and a quizzical look as to where you got that name from.

Rial Shif is as close to a Dark Jedi as you’ve ever met without falling over the precipice of the Dark Side. His teachings were considered far too borderline – edging into powerful and long hidden dark aspects of the force – to be allowed to teach the younglings. However Jedi Master Yoda understands the good in Rial Shif. His trust in Shif means he has found a unique position within the order. He wanders the space lanes, mostly out on the outer rim practicing his own brand of Jedi justice. Always short of brutal, Shif is an exacting and intimidating Jedi. All those that have crossed him have discovered that. To their cost.

The Lost Jedi: Jedi Master Ca De Nas

Ca De Nas (Cristian Cadenas) is a master of arms for the Jedi. One of the foremost trainers of Lightsabre technique in the galaxy, Ca De Nas is based on Coruscant at the time of Order 66. A trainer of Anakin Skywalker in the years prior to the Clone Wars, Ca De Nas tried to impart the wisdom of open hand techniques in battle and introduce mercy, guile and non-fatal attacks. Anakin struggles to fight his teacher for a time, until fury takes hold. Ca De Nas instinctively held back some of the techniques taught to all Padawans at Master Yoda’s request and Obi Wan’s agreement until he had demonstrated greater control of his temper. Ca De Nas’ capacity for guile and adaptability make him a difficult opponent and a respected warrior in the Jedi ranks.

Lost Jedi: Jedi Master Yoda

Master Yoda’s escape from Kashyyk was going to be focussed on in more detail in Lost Jedi as he tries to make his way to the launch point with Chewie. On the far side of the planet, a contingent of Jedi are heading towards the main battle site with the intention of extraction and damage control. Yoda is aware of their presence and does what he can to aid them from his position but to no avail.

The Lost Jedi: Padawan Mooba Choobi

Padawan Mooba Choobi is under the tutelage of Jedi Master Govija Kaoli. While rumours that the prophecy of the chosen one that would bring balance to the force continue to flow around the Jedi Temples throughout the galaxy, some suspect, mostly those who have never met him, that Mooba Choobi represents an alternative to Anakin Skywalker. It has been observed by both Master Windu and Master Yoda that Mooba Choobi’s innate connection to the force helps him survive in incredibly dangerous circumstances. Although Mooba is unable to harness the force to his own ends it manifests at times of great danger (like a universal survival instinct). Whether Govija Kaoli can survive it is another matter entirely.

Lost Jedi: Jedi Master Ba-Na Newlon

Jedi Master Ba-Na Newlon (Tash Banks) is a Master without a Padawan. With a strong connection to the force and all other living things, Ba-Na Newlon succeeds in tracking down an errant and captured young Padawan held by a terrorist cell on a dust planet in the outer rim. Strong willed, empathic and with a commanding presence, Ba-Na Newlon is however a soothing and calm presence, caring and nurturing. She too has chosen to wander about the space lanes, a choice made thanks to her close connection with the stern wandering Jedi Rial Shif. A calming influence over the hard bitten Rial, Ba-Na Newlon attempts to guide newfound Lost Jedi throughout the galaxy to a safe haven. If only she could figure out where that is…

Star Wars Zone: The Darth Vader Sessions

Torn by good & evil and an incestuous love affair, a lonely and depraved Darth Vader has a nervous breakdown. It was created entirely by using the true voice of Vader, Mr. James Earl Jones HIMSELF!

Watch it love it live it! Spread the word… (the actual words Akjak – creator of this piece of comedy sith genius).

Lost Jedi: The Dark Side

Lord of the Sith Darth Vader - who pursues the last of the Lost Jedi


Lord of the Sith Darth Sidious


Moff Yung - Commander of the Imperial Fleet decimated by Govija Kaoli and Mooba Choobi


The new Empire seeks to decimate and hound the remaining Jedi. But foremost, and with the greatest threat to Emperor Palpatine’s power gone or under his own command it focusses now more on expansion and anchoring its control over the galaxy. Where ever possible the Jedi will attempt to stop this from happening. Jedi Master Ca De Nas holds the controlled Anakin Skywalker in place long enough for some Jedi to escape the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, Master Govija Kaoli and Padawan Mooba Choobi annihalate Star Destroyers in their pursuit to redress the balance, fighting alongside the remaining Separatist forces. Jedi Master Jordo Pash draws Vader into conflict on a barren Moon, far from innocent bystanders for a final showdown. Although the Sith and their cohorts believe they have effectively won, while one single Jedi remains in the galaxy, hope is not lost. So there.

Lost Jedi: The Clawing Legion

Based on characters and actors from the Star Wars Exhibition in London in 2007, the Lost Jedi is an epic tale featuring unknown Jedi and Imperialist forces as well as some well known faces (Darth Sidious, Vader and Jedi Master Yoda are all featured in the collection). Collected here are the developed character designs and intended basic plot lines for the Lost Jedi. The Lost Jedi is a non-profit fan project based on Star Wars.

The first specialist, non-clone forces chosen to wear Imperial armour, each is handed an entire unit of specialist Clone Troopers and sent out into the galaxy to locate and destroy any remaining pockets of resistance – and specifically, Jedi. Specialists in various fields they are each chosen on the merit (or demerit) of their past. With nothing to lose – facing death sentences in each of their respective systems – this is their final reprieve. Do or die. Between them they are responsible for more than 12 Jedi kills during the course of the Lost Jedi. However, not without enormous losses, including their own lives. Only one member of Clawing Legion makes it to the Barren Moon for the final showdown. But which?

Trooper Schemi Ikel

Commander Tee Ald

Trooper Wes Nadir

A long time ago, in a Galaxy far, far away….: BTB enters the Star Wars Universe!!

Welcome to the new Beyond the Bunker Star Wars zone. Every Wednesday there will be something from the enormously expansive Star Wars Universe. Be it from the core films I-III or the classic IV-VI, the expanded universe – Clone Wars, Droids, Ewoks – even the Holiday Special if we can find it. And the funnies too.

Interspersed among the existing material will be my little fanboy creation. The Lost Jedi was a title I developed in a fanboy fever while serving as a Jedi/Rebel Trooper at the Star Wars Exhibition in London. Working with a host of exceptional actors, performers, fight trainers and technicians we performed 8 or more Jedi Schools in the central chamber of County Hall, Westminster, in the heart of London. Still the greatest job I’ve ever done – I spent the day training younglings to fight like a Jedi, die like a Rebel Trooper. In my time there, surrounded by the sights and sounds of Lucas and John Williams it was difficult not to be completely overwhelmed by it all.

In a central chamber lay the shining corvette, spitfiresque frame of a Naboo Fighter. To the side of that Wookee costumes and a speeder like that which was ridden by the Skywalkers on Endor. In a darkened room at the back of the exhibition stood a solitary figure. A 7 foot tall goliath in a glass cage. Darth Vader’s suit loomed in the darkness and captured everyone’s imagination that entered. There was never noise in that room, only an eerie and awed hush as tourists stood and basked in a character that is now utterly synonomous with evil and tragedy. And cool.

Expanding so much further beyond mere cinema, Star Wars is an ideology nowadays. A universe that has influenced popular and scientific culture. Star Wars, perhaps more than any other cultural phenomenon of the late twentieth century has the capacity to move into historical lore and take a place in mythology. At its most challenging and insistent, the material developed by the films (even with the less impressive prequels) the cultural and ideological impact of Star Wars gives us insight into the breeding of myths of Gods and Monsters from ancient times. A modern day Odyssey perhaps, it shows us the way religious texts expand and are embraced, whether originally intended by their creators or not. If anything it shows how once a cultural phenomenon is formed it can be expanded upon and used to generate enormous monies for the creator.

Naboo N1-Fighter, parked in landing bay 1, Westminster, 2007

Offering ideologies, an alternative global religion (?!), expansion in gaming, cinema and digital technologies – both in sound and light (and magic), universal themes and characters and having been embraced by effectively billions globally noone should underestimate the width of influence a Dark Lord of the Sith might have.

Jedis unite. For Star Wars has arrived on Beyond the Bunker. Featuring articles, fan films, reviews and the Lost Jedi fan material we are planning to fill the next six months with insight and delight associated with the Star Wars Universe. I’ve got a bad feeling about this….

Next Week: The Lost Jedi. Part One.